Monday, 2 May 2016

Mistakes || S3P3 || Motivational Monday

Aloha Glitterbugs,

Merry Monday to you, a brand new day and a brand new start. How refreshing. 

Like every single person except Mary Poppins (who as we know is practically perfect in every way), I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. A lot. From big ones like not working harder at school to little ones like that Krispy Kreme donut at 1.40am last night, I'm a mistake maker. 

It's really easy, I think, to let those mistakes fester within us. For a long old time after my marriage broke down I would sob and sob to my friends that I'd failed. I felt like I was walking around with this huge neon sign floating above my head and everyone could see all the things I hadn't achieved. 'Couldn't Make Her Marriage Work', 'Didn't Try Hard Enough'.  Over time I realised my failing didn't mean I was a loser and nobody thought that. Nobody was forcing these negative labels on me, except me. It wasn't a mistake to get married (we had a lot of wonderful years and brought Darcy into the world) and it wasn't a mistake to move on (we're both infinity happier now and I feel like a better parent for it).

Same for my A-Levels. I did terribly. At uni in freshers week the hot topic was, 'Which A-Levels did you take? How many UCAS points did you score? Did you get your first place of course??'. Truth be told, I got into my uni through clearing. I did brilliantly in my GCSE's, moved schools for my A-Levels, discovered boys, took my eye of the prize and was a bit of a flop. Still went to uni though, still came out with a degree, still lived my life. My mistake didn't define my success. 

What I'm trying to illustrate is that even if you make a mistake, you can fix it. You can work through it and with the right attitude, over come it. 

Whatever little or big mistakes are niggling away at you this week, let them go or refocus. You don't need to beat yourself up and you are not the walking embodiment of failure. You are a human and you're doing OK. I promise. 



Thursday, 28 April 2016

31 for 31

Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Today is my Birthday! The big Three One. Woohooo!!

(Mmhmm, yes, glitter in my hands there)

Last year turning 30 was big and dramatic and glitzy and wild. The whole year was a roller coaster of ups and downs and twists and turns and so this birthday, I have toned it all down and I hope the year ahead reflects this more chilled out vibe!

I'll make another post on how I'm celebrating but for today, I wanted to talk about some of the things I hope to achieve this year. Also, I wanna make a list. I bloomin' love a good list, you know that right? 

Since I'm turning 31, I figured it made sense to aim for 31 things and then next year I can look back and see how I got on. I don't expect to tick everything off the list but there's no harm in trying!

31 for 31

1. Blog at least twice a week. I love the documentation and routine of life that a blog brings.

2. Write a new book. Idea is already in my head, just need to put it on paper. 

3. Rebrand. I need a change. I'm in the mood for change. 

4. Organise my office into workable systems instead of confused piles of mess. 

5. Set up a creative station for Darcy so that she can enjoy all our craft materials properly. 

6. Each weekend that I have Darcy (Matt and I alternate them), do a proper activity. Don't let the weekends slip by. 

7. Continue to deepen my relationship with the bf and have regular date nights to keep things fresh. Pretty excited to come up with some fun ideas for this! 

8. Use my health club membership twice a week to maintain some level of fitness and justify the slightly extortionate fees. 

9. Keep my wardrobe tidy and usable. I recently had a HUGE sort out and I need to keep it that way!

10. Make the everyday more fun. I have lots of creative ideas that I'd like to start applying to life so that Darcy and I enjoy even the mundane things a lot more. Small things like water balloons in the bath and crazy straws in our drinks. 

11. Take a trip with the girls! As I grow older I'm making more and more friends and I want to make time to enjoy them all. I'd love to have a trip with my uni girls, my local mummy friends, my youtube ladies (Zoe and Maddie I'm looking at you!) and my sisters. I don't think it's feasible to do all of that together so looks like I'll be busy!

12. Travel. A bit. I'm a homebird and love to be in familiar surroundings so wanderlust is never something I experience but I do know that growth comes from stepping outside your comfort zone so I'm going to try. Just a little bit. The bf and I are looking at European city breaks so we'll see how that goes. 

13. Disney, Disney, Disney!!! I am obsessed. To me, there is no happier place on earth than Walt Disney World. I'd like a trip there with Darcy but also I would like to experience a Disney Cruise and take a trip to DisneyLand Paris. 

14. Redecorate. Eventually I'll move out of my tiny house but for now, do I want to change up the lounge? Yes, yes I do. 

15. Hydrate. My insides are like the desert and this needs to stop. Pass me the water! 

16. Bit boring - clean out my car. Need to remind myself that it is not a vessel for every half empty bottle of water or screwed up receipt I've ever had. It's a vehicle. Jeez. 

17. Style more outfits and document them. I love seeing what other people have put together and when I take the time, I think I'm pretty good and styling outfits for myself so I'd like to spend a bit more time on that. 

18. Share more with my bf. I think previously I have fallen into the trap of keeping things to myself and not talking about what excites me. I get really, reaaalllly excited for my job or for ideas or for collaborating with people and brands on new projects but then sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed to share that buzz with people who aren't in my industry because I worry they won't 'get it'. I think I need to give more credit and share more because I've noticed that when I do, he's really on board and that shouldn't be wasted. 

19. Spend time outdoors more. Summer is fast approaching and after been cooped up all winter I want to make sure Darcy and I are getting our vitamin D! I need to find a little repertoire of places we can visit regularly that keep us outdoors. Last Summer I spent so so so much time at a reservoir near my house that now I'm completely sick of it, so I need to keep things varied. 

20. Waste less food/meal plan. It pains me to through so much good food out just because I didn't organise myself enough to use it up so I'm going to try and curb that. 

21. Frame all my art. I buy art, I don't frame it or hang it. This needs to change. 

22. Watch more TV. Whhhaaaa?? Is that a real goal??? Yes. I never watch any TV programmes any more but they're a really good way to switch off and chill out so I'm going to have a looksie at what drama's or documentaries are on and make a little schedule. 

23. Become a planner! I already use my own diary each week but I really love the look of the Erin Conran Life Planners, more for their scrapbook-esque value than anything else. I've seen stickers galore for those bad boys and I'd like to try my hand at doing one. I think they run Summer-Summer so it might be my time to shine soon!

24. Congratulate more. So many people I know are achieving so many incredible things and all too often I miss the moment to clap and cheer for them. Bad Louise. 

25. Open my post. You know that person who has a stack of mail on their desk, unopened? That's me. Need to change that. 

26. Visit more special places in the UK. Our tiny island is packed with amazing things that I would like to take the time to see and enjoy. I'd particularly like to visit the Cotswolds and St Ives again. 

27. Throw some great parties. Nothing thrills me more than a party!!

28. Be on time for people's birthday cards and presents. I'm pretty sh*t at that so I've got minimal hope but it doesn't hurt to try eh?

29. Love on Darcy continually. I don't actually know how I could love this child anymore but I do know that I'll enjoy the challenge of trying. I want to make sure she always feels loved and stable and secure. 

30. Say yes to more events and opportunities. Exciting things come of them. 

31. Have more face to face interactions with Glitterbugs like you <3.

You know what? It was REALLY hard to come up with 31 things I wanted to achieve or do this year and I think that goes to show that actually, I'm pretty happy with my life. If none of those things get ticked off the list and life continues to tick over the way it has this past few months, I'll be a happy camper. 

Thirty, you were a year of learning and growing and accepting. Thirty One, I hope you're just as good to me. 



Monday, 25 April 2016

Accepting the Unchangeable || S3P2 || Motivational Monday

Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Merry Monday to you. The start of a new week and a chance to wipe the slate clean and try again. That's pretty exciting don't you think?

I'm going to be quite personal in today's blog post. I generally go with the notion of 'never air your laundry in public' but today, I kind of am. I'm going to do it in the most classy way I can and I'm doing it with reflection and learning in mind, not spite or malice. 

Last year, I fell for a man. He was charismatic and charming and told me all the things my broken heart yearned to hear. He promised me the world and perhaps foolishly, I believed he would give me it. At the time, I felt like I loved him. Looking back with fresh eyes I'm not sure I did but during those months, it felt so incredibly real. 

I made plans. I imagined our live together. I spent hours talking to him, we had trips together and days out and talked of this amazing future. I felt like we were on the same wavelength and wanted the same things in life. We had similar energies and bounced off each other creatively. 

But, he lied. He lied about big things. He lied to me and he lied to other people. I knew he did but instead of being smart and walking away, I thought it would change or that I would change him. I think it was probably selfish to cling on to that hope. It was selfish because I thought I could have what I wanted- the dream he promised me. Deep down, very very deep down, I knew I couldn't. 

As time went on, I realised this man didn't love me. He might have said he did and thought he did, but his actions told me he didn't. 

Fortunately for us both, everything stopped at the end of 2015. No more daily chats, no more trips, no more fun days, no more presents to my house, no more anything. 

It was painful and hard and came at a time where I felt very vulnerable and rubbish but truly, was a blessing. I had just started my counselling and had just started to want for a life as just Team Louise&Darcy (he was never a part of D's life but in my head I imagined that one day he would be) and quickly and steadily, I got over it all. Zero contact, nothing on social media, life picked up. Things got good again.

From time to time, I thought about him. I thought about how hurt I was to have been lied to and let down and how when I allowed myself to be in another relationship, I would make sure it was with a man who cherished me and wanted me (and yay now I am!). 

For a good part of a year, I thought I was going to have an amazing thing. When I came to my senses and realised I might not, instead of accepting it, I carried on thinking, hoping, working towards it happening. I wasted my time. Sometimes you cannot change things. Sometimes the world doesn't work how you want it to and the best thing you can do is say, 'OK, I will manage, I will find a new path'. I wish I had done that sooner last year. 

This weekend I saw the man in question and thought, 'what a difference a year makes'. I looked at him and instead of seeing the guy I thought was made just for me, I just saw a guy. 

Letting go takes courage and I'm glad all those months ago I found it because life is so beautiful now. 

I hope if any of you are going through anything similar that you can find the courage to make the right choice. It's often hard to tell whether you should stick and work at something or when it's time to move on but think hard on it and you'll know. I'm sending you big loves if you are confused and scared, I've been there. Once you let go of the exhausting exercise of trying to change the unchangeable, you are free. It's incredibly liberating feeling to just accept a situation and move on, let go and carry on with your life. Anybody can do it, even if you think you can't. 

I'd like to add, to the guy who was what he was, I wish no ill fate. I hope he lives a lovely life and finds his own peace because I've found mine and it's bliss. 

Bit of a deep one this week and definitely a more personal story than I'd usually go for but I thought it might be valuable for someone out there who is also struggling to see that even with some of the hardest things at the hardest times, you can get through, accept you cant change a thing and come out so much happier than you thought you can. 

Toodlepip Glitterbugs!


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