It has become a custom over here in Glitter World to spend a few moments on the last day of December to look over the year and reflect upon all it's adventures.
In the past I have done a month by month summary of what happened here on the blog, but with only 97 posts this year, I think we'll go for something new!
2014 has been a most challenging year. Some challenges have been oh so rewarding and some, less so. It's hard to talk about these things objectively because Sprinkle of Glitter is a happy place designed to only showcase the highlights of my life, celebrate the exciting and inspire positivity. With that in mind, I'll get the hard stuff said first and then move on to easier shores.
I will be brutal. This year has been hard. I have often found myself in situations I know not how to handle and have regularly felt out of my depth. My confidence has been knocked and subsequently so has my self esteem. 'Lost' is a good way to describe the worst parts of the year. I have felt lost in a sea of people who seem to know where their paths lead. Whilst professionally I have felt cool, calm and confident (more on that shortly), my personal life has been a very private struggle that I hope will ease in 2015.
I have sought constantly for the approval of others when really, I should have only needed my own. I have made big, hard choices and spent days and weeks unsure if they were right. I have cried, a lot.
A lot of this pain was reflected in my blog and youtube channels in the form of absence and I want to take a moment to thank you for never pressuring or resenting the big gaps and the lack of posts and videos.
That was hard to write. Really hard. I hate admitting I'm not constantly a life winner but 2014, you were a toughie. A goodie, but a toughie!
Moving on to brighter topics, three things that have made me smile from ear to ear are my sweet baby girl (as always), Sprinkle of Glitter and friends.
Darcy Jane Watson has been a joy. Watching her develop and delighting in her milestones has been such a privilege. She has grown from a tot to a small child and whilst my Mama heart wants to keep her a tiny snuggly baby for ever, I am constantly impressed by the wonders of Motherhood. To see a child experience pure happiness is better than having it yourself. Watching Darcy play with other children or be thrilled by something so mundane makes me feel like my heart might burst.
Now she is 3 and 9 months she is enjoying imagination games (last night she made us call her Charly over and over), making up jokes ("I've got an idea! When we get home we will all climb into the bins! AHAHAHAHAHA I'm fully kidding Mummy!") and being a 'big girl' (eating food well herself, sleeping in knickers instead of pullups and getting out of the carseat with minimal assistance).
As she grows, she is also becoming aware of bigger topics. She understands that my Mummy lives in Heaven ('with Mufasa and Ariel's Mummy') and that it is more important to be kind and smart than to be a princess. I am proud of her. I think I always will be.
Sprinkle of Glitter has been crazy amazing this year. I have been to Florida, Milan, New York, LA, New Jersey and on a UK Tour to meet as many of you as possible, have talked on panels, been part of live shows, given Q&A's and even started my own stage tour, 'LouiseLIVE'. It has been an absolute whirlwind.
I began the year quite overwhelmed and unsure but after starting (go me!) the topic of YouTube Culture, I have noticed a big, big shift in the way I am treated by viewers and hopefully this in turn has positively effected they way I treat you.
At large conventions like Playlist and Vidcon, I noticed a much calmer vibe from so many people and loved it! I felt able to stand about and have relaxed conversations and actually interact with the people that watch Sprinkle of Glitter and make it so (I think) special. I love how this is all just one big conversation and how we, as a community, can take control and make it how we want it to be. Even as it grows (and wowee oh my woah woah, has it grown this year!!), I think the community feel remains and that Sprinklerinos are very protective over keeping it a kind, loving, happy place. I know with all of our efforts, that will continue into the new year.
I have also been working behind the scenes on several large projects that will come to light in 2015 and can't wait for those too. 2014 has been a year of building, 2015 will be the unveiling!
Friends. You know that song with the line, 'I get by with a little help from my friends'? That's 2014 for you right there.
In 2014 I made brand new friends and strengthened existing friendships so much I could cry. I have a very special place in my heart for all my oldie but goldies (Zoe, Clare, Emma, Marie, Jack and more) but have found a little bit of extra space for Hazel Hayes who wins the award for Most Time Spent Listening To Me Ramble On About Utter Crap That At The Time Felt Important. Seriously, I feel almost ashamed at how much of her time I have taken up and how nurturing she has been. She is a good egg and will join the esteemed list of 'Oldie but Goldie's above. In 2015 I would love a little getaway with her and Zoe for facials, massages and all the lols!!
A huge highlight of 2014 was fiiiinnaaalllyy flying out to Seattle with Matt and Darcy to visit Marie BitsandClips and her family. I have so much love for those people and want to spend all my days bringing them as much delight as they give to me. I said to Marie the other day, 'you are sunshine incarnate' and I was right. She cannot not make me happy. Ooff.
Other little mentions and thank you's (I'm at the Oscars now apparently) go to - Dodie for lovingly stroking my arms the time I hyperventilated in a bar, Cayleigh for never failing to be as enthusiastic as me about insane ideas, Amber for being such a kind soul in New Jersey when I was sick and scared, Maddie for always remembering and acknowledging the hard days, my neighbour Vicky for always chitchatting on the drive, Sam, Nic and Caroline for giving perfect big sister advice, Cat for listening and analysing, Ben Cook for encouraging me to talk about big topics and Jack for forever forcing me to up my game.
I have felt incredibly loved this year.
And so there we have it, a big ol' brain dump of the last 12 months. A year of filming and flights and skater skirts and sparkly nails and baby squishes and late night dinners and red carpets (yay!) and big discussions and hotel lols and skype chats and lovely lists and fairy lights and laughter and tears and fist pumps and kittens, it's been a year!!
I am ending this year with a thankful heart and as always, an optimistic mind.
Tell me, how has your 2014 been?