Today has been blissful.
It was diarised to go into London but with so much happening at the moment, Maddie and Natalie very kindly took it out my diary and gave me a 'home day' to, as I so eloquently put it, 'get my shit together'. I know it can look like I'm doing nothing but it never feels that way. I'm constantly working on things behind the scenes, adjusting to living alone (and so being the only person to do all the shopping/keep on top of stuff), being a Mama and yanno, just living normal life things. I love it but I tell you, 'home days', they keep me sane.
I uploaded THIS video earlier today. It was filmed way back in July but it's a goodun. I really like it a lot.
Today I feel like life cut me some slack and I got on it. I was on time, nay, early!, for dropping Darcy off at school and managed to pack every single thing she needed (including PE kit and money for a bookbag thank you muchly). I mean, I looked like a stick of crap dropping her off but she looked adorable in pigtail plaits and freshly laundered shirt, these are the things that count I think.
I came home, did admin. My favourite. By lunchtime I was editing THIS video and reading articles about me. That sounds really weird (because it is) but today there seemed to be a little flurry of things (I'm not talking the Telegraph here, I'm talking about people who write sweet reviews of my book tours or publishers featuring my fundraiser etc) and I'm always interested in what's said. Does that make me crazy vain? I hope not! *checks self in mirror and flicks hair* jks.
Before I knew it I was driving to collect Darcy from school and I had such a lovely moment. It's quite a scenic little trip and I was singing to a good song on the radio and orange leaves were falling from trees and the sun shone through their branches making the road look dappled and I just thought about how, in that moment, I was so so happy. I felt confident driving, everywhere looked gorgeous and I was about to pick up my most favourite thing in the world from a place she loves being. I know this word is so overused but I felt, brace yourself, blessed. Buhlessed.
We arrived home and her friends from across the road came over to play. I love having them over because they all entertain each other AND these kids are crazy tidy and clean up after themselves- it's great!! I was in my room working so I could hear what they were up to and I heart squished a bit when I heard them playing 'weddings'. Abi said, 'Ok Darcy I'll marry you. I will never break a promise to you, I will love you most in all the world and I will always look after you' and then they were an item.
It got me thinking how pure childhood is and how perfect Abi's vows were. In her young mind, those were the most important thing and I think as we grow we loose sight of those sometimes. This last week or so I have been spending more time with Matt than we have done in months and it's been really nice to enjoy each others company again and do some of the things we used to enjoy in the olden days like watch Downton or be way too excited for pizza. We've talked about the vows we took and the love we had and although it isn't that way anymore, I'm so pleased that we're learning to develop a healthy friendship and are able to visit those conversation topics and that despite having separated parents, Darcy is seeing a Mother and Father that can respect and care and co-operate. I am so keen to continue fostering this, what I hope to be, lovely environment for her.
After the girls had gone home and Darcy had eaten dinner and done her homework (yep, my 4 year old has homework. We had to stick a leaf to a hedgehog, very taxing) and had her bedtime stories read (I'm loving all the new stories she brings home from school. I think reading bedtime stories is just about my favourite thing to do ever), my gorgeous friend Clare popped over for some much needed chat time. I haven't had proper chats with her for over a month so we had plenty to catch up on and really put the world to rights. It felt great. I'm really excited to spend more time with her over the following months.
On top of all these 'big' things in the day, I'm caught up on laundry, my kitchen is clean and tidy, I've eaten healthily and I'm ready for tomorrow. Winning!
I'm so pleased that the peaceful feeling from last week has carried through. I don't fully know if it will stay because I'm a temperamental creature but I hope it does. It's feels so, so, so good to be stand strong on some personal choices I am currently making and I feel empowered and motivated for the coming weeks. Please cross your fingers that this feeling lasts!
Tomorrow I have a big London day for Google's Brandcast event so I'm not sure how much energy I'll have to blog but keep an eye on my instagram for updates!
PS- I just watched THIS video and loved it so thought you might too. It's a Disney mash up. Disney. What's not to love?! Also, THIS Carrie Hope Fletcher video has been on repeat as I wrote this blog post. What a voice. Little chunks of happy.